Ch. 2
On familiar intimacy.
To this matter before all you must attend, that you be
never so closely connected with any of your former intimates or friends as to come down to the same acts as he
does.679 If you do not observe this rule, you will ruin yourself. But if the thought arises in your mind, I shall
seem disobliging to him and he will not have the same
feeling towards me, remember that nothing is done with-
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out cost, nor is it possible for a man if he does not do the
same things to be the same man that he was. Choose
then which of the two you will have, to be equally loved
by those by whom you were formerly loved, being the
same with your former self; or being superior, not to
obtain from your friends the same that you did before.
For if this is better, immediately turn away to it, and let
not other considerations draw you in a different direction.
For no man is able to make progress (improvement), when
he is wavering between opposite things; but if you have
preferred this (one thing) to all things, if you choose to
attend to this only, to work out this only, give up every
thing else. But if you will not do this, your wavering
will produce both these results: you will neither improve
as you ought, nor will you obtain what you formerly
obtained. For before by plainly desiring the things
which were worth nothing, you pleased your associates.
But you cannot excel in both kinds, and it is necessary
that so far as you share in the one, you must fall short in
the other. You cannot, when you do not drink with those
with whom you used to drink, be agreeable to them as you
were before. Choose then whether you will be a hard
drinker and pleasant to your former associates or a sober
man and disagreeable to them. You cannot, when you do
not sing with those with whom you used to sing, be
equally loved by them. Choose then in this matter also
which of the two you will have. For if it is better to be
modest and orderly than for a man to say, He is a jolly
fellow, give up the rest, renounce it, turn away from it,
have nothing to do with such men. But if this behaviour
shall not please you, turn altogether to the opposite: become a catamite, an adulterer, and act accordingly, and
you will get what you wish. And jump up in the theatre
and bawl out in praise of the dancer. But characters so
different cannot be mingled: you cannot act both Thersites
and Agamemnon. If you intend to be Thersites,680 you
must be humpbacked and bald: if Agamemnon, you must
be tall and handsome, and love those who are placed in
obedience to you.
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