If I'd invited them to drink some wine1
or talk about the kids or go out dancing,
you'd hear the sound of high heels everywhere.
But now there's not a single wife in sight.
Well, here's my next-door neighbor, anyway.
Hi to you, Lysistrata.
Hey, why the dirty looks? Cheer up, kiddo.
Don't frown, you'll wrinkle up your pretty face.
I'm really angry, Calonice, deeply hurt,
in fact offended by the wives, by us
because, according to our husbands we're
the best at clever schemes
And that's the truth.
but when I tell them all to meet me here,
to scheme about the most important things,
they're sleeping in and don't show up.
It's not so easy getting out this early.
We've got to do our husbands little favors,
we've got to get the servants out of bed,
we've got to wash and feed and burp the kids.
But they've got more important things to do than those!
OK, Lysistrata, suppose
you tell me why we're meeting here. The deal.
Is it a big one?
Not hard as well?
It's very hard.
Then why aren't we all here?3
No, no, not that: if it were that, they'd come.
It's something I've been thinking hard about
on sleepless nights I've tossed it back and forth.
I guess it must be pretty limp by now.
It's limp alright! So limp that the salvation
of all of Greece lies in the women's hands!
In women's hands? We're goners then for sure!
The nation's fate is in our hands alone!
The very existence of the Spartan people
It's best they don't
exist, in my opinion.
and all of Thebes completely obliterated
Not all of Thebes: please save the caviar!4
and I don't event want to mention Athens:
You know what I could say: you fill it in.
But all the women, if they'd only come,
the Theban women and the Spartan women
and us, together we could rescue Greece!
But what can women do that's sensible,
or grand? We're good at putting make-up on,
designer clothes and wigs and necklaces,
imported gowns and fancy lingerie!